Sometimes as parents, we snap. We can’t help it! It’s easy to become overwhelmed and bogged down with work, chores, bills, and adding children into the mix can sometimes be too much. The result can sometimes end in us taking it out on our children and becoming “snappy.” As the demands for work and finances increase in a parents’ life, so does the stress. If mom and dad are feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders, chances are they are going to snap at their child at some point unless some of this pressure is released is a healthy conducive way. Situations like this are normal, and most parents experience this from time-to-time. But if these sorts of outbursts become a regular habit, there are several consequences that can occur. One, the child may get used to your fits of temper and not take them or your requests seriously. They may also start demonstrating this behaviour towards their friends, siblings and also you as a parent. Not to mention the ill effects it can have on their self-esteem. Keep in mind that in some occasions, an upset like this is unavoidable; especially if it is in regards to a child’s safety. If your child is wandering out into a street unaware, of course you are going to snap at your child. But if this sort of constant and consistent scolding has become a habit, it may be good to start doing what you can to curb and reverse this behaviour before it results in negative outcomes. Here are some tips to support you in snapping less at your children: De-stress Love yourself. Give yourself what you need whether that is sleep, good food, or exercise. When you set yourself up for success by giving yourself what you need, you set your children up for success too. When you take time to de-stress and love yourself enough to give yourself what you need to be happy, your children only benefit. Additionally, they will see you behaving this way and may even replicate it in their own lives. You will be calmer, more collected and present, and if your child begins triggering you in some way, you will be more apt to respond to the situation instead of merely reacting to it emotionally. Don’t beat yourself up Mistakes are good because they help us grow and learn how to do things better and more efficiently. If you do have the occasional slip-up, let it go and forgive yourself. You are human, after all. Keep in mind that as a parent, you are still learning how to be one. When a woman births a child, she isn’t just giving birth to a child, she is giving birth to a mother as well. It’s a totally new experience and life changes in the blink of an eye! Now you have to be yourself AND care for a child. So if you fly off the handle; be easy on yourself, learn from your mistake and course-correct. Take care of survival first. People are interesting creatures: we can create some amazing things and birth awesome ideas, but if we are afraid of whether or not we can make all the bills next month, that transcendence flies out the window. You cannot teach a starving man enlightenment! When basic needs are threatened, such as food, water and shelter, we fall into survival mode which isn’t necessarily healthy for our emotional and mental states. And what is worse is that our children pick up on it and naturally mimic their parents’ mental and emotional states. Take time for yourself Adding onto tip number two, it is very important that you also take time for yourself to do whatever it is you love to do, whether that is reading a book, going out dancing or simply catching up on your favourite series. Have me-time is another way of loving yourself. If you have ever been on an airplane, the flight attendants usually tell parents that if the oxygen mask falls from the ceiling to put the mask on yourself first, then put it on your child. The reason being is that, in an emergency situation, when most peoples’ rationale goes out the window, the only person that can look after a child is their parent. You do your child no good if you are unconscious or unavailable for them. So, make yourself available to them by taking care of you and loving yourself. Understand your own triggers. What sets you off? What is stressing you out that you are taking it out on your child? And more importantly, what can you do to ease the stress? Surprisingly for me, I noticed I was snapping at my child more and more. When I stopped to observe why, it was because my career entailed me working in a hostile environment. It was a dog eat dog world, and I was caught in the middle of it. I left my job shortly after this realization, and though there was a bit of financial stress, I was not taking it out on my child. Understanding yourself and your triggers is not just some personal development mumbo jumbo - it is having the knowledge and awareness of preventing an outburst before it happens. If you know that lack of sleep keeps you from being calm and collected, or work issues are weighing down on you, do whatever preventative measures you can so that these triggers don’t set you off in front of your child. If you feel calmer once the bills are paid, then pay the bills in advance. If you have made a habit of not getting enough sleep which turns you into a grumpy humbug in the morning, then start going to bed earlier. Know yourself and your quirks and do something about it. Make sure your survival is taken care of. Learn to budget your funds and finances, set up a plan, and stick to it! This way your children don’t have to experience their parents being stressed out 24/7! Being snappy doesn’t have to be the norm in your household. Assess what it is which is making you snappy, and confront it. Event if it means dropping your children off somewhere for a few hours such as your parents’ house, or perhaps a centre that offers additional hourly drop-off services such as Little Human Scholars in Petaling Jaya (wink wink), then take that much needed time for yourself by allowing trustworthy friends and family watch your children. Again, when you take care of yourself and give yourself what you need, you are more able to take care of your children, be present with them, and be cool, calm and collected in otherwise stressful situations. About Little Human Scholars School and Full Day Daycare Centre in PJ Little Human Scholars is an all-in-one childcare solution. It is a preschool, playschool, kindergarten, nursery and full day daycare centre (with extended hours) located in the heart of PJ. In fact, the location is one of the things which makes Little Human Scholars so sought after – it is conveniently nestled near Jalan Gasing, University hospital, PJ Old town, PJ New town, Jaya One, Jaya33, and the PJ IT Mall. The best part is LHS has premiere services many other schools in PJ don’t offer such as full day daycare with extended hours, CCTV access for parents, and a nifty little phone app called Toddlytic which provides parents with automatic updates on their child’s development, behaviour and health checks. With full-time guards always present at each of their locations, access to CCTV (which is in every room except the office, bathroom and kitchen areas), and very strict pick-up and drop-off rules, Little Human Scholars treats every child who walks into its hallways as one of their own children! This place has it all: location, safety, health, IGSCE curriculum and play-based learning. What more could you ask for? Did I mention they also have transportation services and offer meal plans for students? It doesn’t get any better than that. If you are interested in a tour of one of our centres (that’s right, there’s more than one), all you need to do is fill out the form here or call +6017-7303-025 and an LHS administrative staff will get back with you shortly! Cheers, Jana Moreno

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