Raising a child takes a village but raising a child to be more confident and vocal is another thing entirely. There are several methods and techniques which can help you achieve this, and one way we’ve found that works well is this: respond-ability.
In life, there are going to be times when our emotions get the best of us. Humans are emotional creatures after all and teaching your child to respond to a situation rather than react is very powerful.
Here’s an example: Tommy has a school mate named Jenni. Jenni likes to take Tommy’s toys when he isn’t looking. Tommy turns around to see Jenni has taken his toys, what does Tommy do? Does he start crying? Does he angrily take his toys back from Jenni? Does he run and tell the teacher? Or, does Tommy respond to the situation in a mature way?
Does he instead ask Jenni for his toys back? Does he express to her that he prefers she asks him instead of taking them?
This situation can have many outcomes, but the point is whether or not Tommy responds to the situation or emotionally reacts to it. He could calmly ask Jenni for his toys back. If she doesn’t agree to it, he can choose to continue to respond to the situation or react to it. In essence, teaching a child to be respond-able to a situation instead of reacting to it is the same as teaching a child mindfulness. This is something the teachers and management of Little Human Scholars School in PJ strive for every day: to respond to situations instead of reacting to them.
How You Teach Your Child To Be More Confident and Vocal Using This Technique
For one, your child learns to use their words instead of reacting emotionally. Most of us have said and done things which were out of reaction and that we regret. Teaching your child from a young age to respond and be mindful of their emotions is powerful.
Everyone has the power to express their emotions in a way that isn’t emotional. While it may take some time to learn and utilise the benefits of it in the long term are worth the effort now.
- It helps them set up healthy boundaries with their friends and peers.
- This helps them with emotional mastery – this can come in handy in their careers when dealing with others.
- Responding to a situation rather than reacting can give them more confidence in handling tricky matters.
- It teaches children to think creatively and use their words instead of using actions or emotions.
- It teaches children something called “nonviolent communication.”
Getting your child to be more confident and vocal really starts with the parents. How are you and your spouse at home? If there is an upset between you both, do you start insulting each other’s character, or do you work it out? Do you walk away and take a few minutes when you notice your emotions are high? Children have a tendency of mimicking their parents – how you are in uncomfortable and emotional situations strongly influences how your children will be in emotional situations.
How to Teach My Child to Respond Instead of React to a Situation
- Use your words and come from “I.”
It’s easy to blame someone else for your emotions but coming from a space of “I” is powerful. Instead of saying, “Why would you do that? I am so angry with you!” Try, “I felt frustrated when I observed this behaviour in you. It made me feel like you did it purposefully to hurt me. Did you do it purposefully to hurt me, and if so, why?”
- When emotions are rising, take a break.
When you notice you or the other person getting heated, you can agree to take a breather for 10 or 15 minutes or however long it takes to calm down. Then come back and try talking it out again.
- Remember that you can either be right, or you can solve the issue.
Most people love being the “right” party but being right doesn’t always mean the issue is solved. Making the other person wrong just so you feel good about yourself and you felt like you’ve won isn’t necessarily healthy.
- Commit to solving the issue instead of attacking the other person.
This really only works if both parties agree to do this. If the other person is committed to hurting you or “winning,” you won’t be able to solve the issue peacefully. You may need a third a party to intervene.
Again, this is something we strive to do at Little Human Scholars School in PJ, and in the long term, teaching your child to respond instead of reacting to a situation supports your child to be more confident and vocal in the long term!
About Little Human Scholars School in PJ
Little Human Scholars is an all-in-one childcare solution. It is a preschool, playschool, kindergarten, nursery and full day daycare centre (with extended hours) located in the heart of PJ.
In fact, the location is one of the things which makes Little Human Scholars so sought after – it is conveniently nestled near Jalan Gasing, University hospital, PJ Old town, PJ New town, Jaya One, Jaya33, and the PJ IT Mall.
The best part is LHS has premiere services many other schools in PJ don’t offer such as full day daycare with extended hours, CCTV access for parents, and a nifty little phone app called Toddlytic which provides parents with automatic updates on their child’s development, behaviour and health checks.
With full-time guards always present at each of their locations, access to CCTV (which is in every room except the office, bathroom and kitchen areas), and very strict pick-up and drop-off rules, Little Human Scholars treats every child who walks into its hallways as one of their own children!
This place has it all: location, safety, health, IGSCE curriculum and play-based learning. What more could you ask for? Did I mention they also have transportation services and offer meal plans for students? It doesn’t get any better than that.
If you are interested in a tour of one of our centres (that’s right, there’s more than one), all you need to do is fill out the form here or call +6017-7303-025 and an LHS administrative staff will get back with you shortly!
Cheers,
Jana Moreno