Why is My Child Aggressive?

Is your child exhibiting aggressive behaviour?  Many parents observe a noticeable shift after their child starts school – some become more social, others become more independent, and some may start showing off different behaviour that they are not used to.  Keep in mind, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it is something to look into.

Each child is different: they have their own preferences, likes, dislikes and personalities and they also interpret their environment in their own unique ways as well. Similarly, they also go through phases such as saying no extensively or being jealous of other children’s toys.  Another phase that can be common among children is the ‘hitting’ phase.

Understandably, when a toddler begins hitting there could be several reasons for this.  Perhaps their parents spank them at home or they do not have the communication prowess to convey to others their wishes.  But what happens when they start hitting other children and/or adults and it lasts longer than a couple of weeks?

Honestly, it can be a little embarrassing for parents (especially when you are in the check-out line and your child starts throwing punches because you didn’t get them that super sugary cereal).  Parents often feel judged by onlookers and encounter snide remarks ~ some from people who don’t have children!  Here are some tips and tricks we use at Little Human Scholars preschool and kindergarten in Petaling Jaya that has worked wonders for us and our students!

Stopping Aggressive Behaviour Before it Starts

Don’t Demonstrate this Behaviour at Home or at School

Sometimes children lash out because they see other children do it, and sometimes it’s because they experience it at home. As parents ourselves, we truly believe that children are a product of their environment; if they are around loving and nurturing children and adults, they will reflect this environment.  If they are around people who hit or slap them, they will reflect this behaviour instead.  In short, if you don’t want your child resorting to violence, make sure they are around others that don’t use violence as a means of getting what they want!

Teach and Lead by Example

Children tend to follow their parents and guardians’ behaviour.  Finding different ways of disciplining your child without resorting to hitting, beating, threatening or yelling at them can benefit you and them in the future.

For example, mean what you say and say what you mean.  There are consequences for actions.  Let’s say a child wants a sweet, but they won’t clean up their toys.  Don’t simply give in when a child starts throwing a tantrum.  Parents and teachers who stand by their disciplinary measures will soon find their child not only gets the message but will slow down their aggressive behaviours.

What is the Root Cause?

If your child is resorting to hitting or beating you and other children, and you certainly don’t display it at home, it is best to discover where this aggressive behaviour is coming from so you can identify the issue at the root cause and settle it from there.  Asking ourselves questions can support us in identifying where the issue may be coming from.

Is it one particular child he or she hits?

Is it at a certain time of day? 

Do they hit only me or other people/children as well? 

What is my child communicating to me? 

What are his/her triggers?

If you find that your child gets sleepy and ‘grumpy’ after lunch, then you can takes steps on how to set you and your child up for success so the aggressive behaviour stops before it starts.  If you find that your child hits other children only when they are close to ‘mommy’ or ‘daddy,’ then you know how to approach this issue more head-on as your child’s trigger has been identified.  Again, once the root cause is identified, it is easier to put a stop to the issue.

Stop Aggressive Behaviour In Its’ Tracks

After you have identified your child’s triggers (those little things that set them off), it is ideal to watch for it and step in at the first sign of trouble.  Stop it before it becomes a habit!  Do not allow them to “train” you into giving them what they want simply because they throw a tantrum or begin hitting you.  If this behaviour is already ingrained in them, it may take more time to condition them out of it – the key is to stick to your guns and be the parent – not their peer!

Praise Them When They Get it Right!

Keep in mind that it may take some time for your child to adapt a new habit or behaviour.  One sure-fire way to encourage them to adapt this behaviour more and more would be to praise them when they do get it right!  You can clap your hands and say, “Good work” or “good job!”  Or you can reward them with additional arts and crafts time or a fun activity.  For best results, ensure both parents/guardians to this as well as the child’s daycare, preschool or playschool.  Consistency wins in the campaign for a child’s better behaviour!

About Little Human Scholars School in PJ

Little Human Scholars is an all-in-one childcare solution.  It is a preschool, playschool, kindergarten, nursery and full day daycare centre (with extended hours) located in the heart of PJ.

In fact, the location is one of the things which makes Little Human Scholars so sought after – it is conveniently nestled near Jalan Gasing, University hospital, PJ Old town, PJ New town, Jaya One, Jaya33, and the PJ IT Mall.

The best part is LHS has premiere services many other schools in PJ don’t offer such as full day daycare with extended hours, CCTV access for parents, and a nifty little phone app called Toddlytic which provides parents with automatic updates on their child’s development, behaviour and health checks.

With full-time guards always present at each of their locations, access to CCTV (which is in every room except the office, bathroom and kitchen areas), and very strict pick-up and drop-off rules, Little Human Scholars treats every child who walks into its hallways as one of their own children!

This place has it all:  location, safety, health, IGSCE curriculum and play-based learning.  What more could you ask for?  Did I mention they also have transportation services and offer meal plans for students?  It doesn’t get any better than that.

If you are interested in a tour of one of our centres (that’s right, there’s more than one), all you need to do is fill out the form here or call +6017-7303-025 and an LHS administrative staff will get back with you shortly!

Cheers,

Jana Moreno